Vacationing in the Florida Keys conjures up visions of warm breezes, swaying palm trees and fancy mixed drinks. And where we are staying in Islamorada, this idea has mostly been realized for the last few weeks. One part of this vision (at least for my wife) is a supply of coconut water from the surrounding trees. And as luck would have it, right now is coconut season so at least part of this dream is possible.
Sitting high in the surrounding trees, are coconuts turning a lovely shade of yellow, which indicate they are ripe. And for the past few days infrequent thumps of cascading projectiles hitting the sand have jarred us from slumber and reading yet another good book. For the last week, every morning I go out to greet the sun, I find another coconut that has been liberated from a nearby tree; last night three such fruits made their vertical escape. So now I have nearly a dozen coconuts collected and Juana asking what I am going to do with them.
“I am going to open them up so you can sip juice right from them,” I said with confidence in my voice.
“Yeah, right,” retorted my wife, often correct about similar boasts concerning things I know nothing about.
Little did she know that I had been reading a variety of instructions on YouTube and the web about how to liberate juice from a coconut. It seems so simple. After all Tom Hanks was able to figure it out in the nearly silent movie, “Cast Away,” and he did not have an internet connection. So I was ready to prove myself.
One method portrayed a three step process sans tools to open a coconut. It basically advised you to bang the coconut around until it started to squirt water. Like Tom Hanks, who also tried that method, I gave up after a while.
“Why don’t you use a machete?”
I thought about this as when we were in Kauai, we purchased fresh coconut water from vendors who with a few swings of their machetes expertly cracked open a hole in a coconut and popped a straw in. There was a machete nearby but I was worried that with my skill I would separate a finger or two before getting anything but frustration from the coconut. A few minutes later I was correct in my assessment (without the severed fingers) and gave up on that approach.
I then took a hack saw and started to cut pieces off the coconut so I could access the hardened nut inside that contained the coconut water and meat. This approach was somewhat successful as it cut through the tough skin revealing a fibrous interior. I attempted to peel back the fibers by hand, as one of the YouTube instruction videos told me I could do easily but that approach also failed. Other attempts with a hammer, screwdriver, hole saw and draw knife drew nothing but giggles from my wife.
I then noticed that my landlord has a reciprocating saw on his workbench. It was all charged up and ready to go. Holding the coconut between my feet, the saw made a quick cut around the bottom of the coconut permitting me to pry with the hammer and screwdriver the fibrous end off exposing the hard liquid-filled nut inside. I then cut the tip of the coconut off giving me an easy, flat place to drive through a hole. A couple of quick taps and I was through.
“Success,” I shouted.
Turning the coconut over into a glass I waited for the clear, tasty ambrosia to trickle out.
Nothing.
I shook the coconut a few times and still nothing. I could hear the liquid swirling around but nothing would emerge from the pierced end.
“Perhaps you need a bigger hole, “ suggested Juana.
I took that as a helpful hint and pushed the screwdriver through again deep into the coconut, twirling it around to expand the opening. When I removed the screwdriver, a squirt of liquid followed. And upon inverting the coconut, water emerged filling up Juana’s glass.
She took a sip and a smile came to her face. “This is the way it should be,” she said. “How about another?”
